My thoughts on my own confidence:
Let it be known now to myself: I sometimes don't know what the fuck I'm doing with this training stuff. I have been reading lots of training methodology since I first started training and figured out how to analyze my times, but I still don't know if what I am doing is the "correct" way. This is all merely a trial-and-error for me. My training is simply a projection of my own logic, and, people, do I question myself a lot. It's very difficult to have a positive attitude when you're in the dark. What I just said, thinking positively, is a big influence on my confidence. Now, sure, it's easy to start positive self-talk, for example, the common dull phase, "I can do this!". I'm not sure if I am able to say that to myself if I don't even fully believe it?
Here's something interesting that I've recently been aware of:
In 2013 Spring (my first training circle), I was ALWAYS looking right into the eyes of my goal (30:30 for a 5-miler), and never at the process itself (day-to-day training). I don't think I was wrong for being naive about my immediate goals (day-to-day training), but it's important for me not to look over them. I recall feeling quite lazy before going out to my runs, and never getting myself mentally prepared for it. Now that I look back, running seemed like a punishment, and not as a gift. That's about to change. I'm going to create a positive mindset for myself if it's the last thing I do. I'm never going to stop trying.
Think positively, take risks, experience success. Those are the 3 things I need to focus on to create confidence. I will talk about those later on, along with focus.
Training:
Sunday
9 miles
This was a hard run. Not the mileage, but the fact that it was hot and I made an idiotic move to keep my thick American Eagle hoodie on. To add on, I was sicker than a dog. Dry mouth, stuffed nose, negative thoughts before I even started, you name it.
Monday
5 miles in 35:10
Agility Drills
8 x 100m arrancones
Tuesday
3 miles in 21:13
Wednesday
6 miles in 41:43
Thursday
Friday
5 miles 36:43
Saturday
Form drills
10 x 100m arrancones
Thoughts:
This will be an easy week. Oh! Spring semester starts next week.. I'm excited