The Couple Next To You Think You Look Strange

I stepped outside Thursday to run after about 2 months of being exiled from trails. One of the most liberating things I have done all summer. Running as liberation! This is how I am able to function progressively in times where I am close to resigning from critically thinking.

Running to me is the pipeline for a few loads of crap that exist in me: Negativity, sadness, and distraction. Seeing all of that in the form of sweat makes me relieved. Of course, I could just be a baked good from Texas because of this dang heat, but I'd like to see it differently. One of my biggest problems that I've had all summer is waking up early. I just can't seem to get up even after 8+ hours of sleep. Or to be fair it could be because I awoke on the 7th hour (groggy hour) of my sleep cycle. Or perhaps because I didn't have a full ignited motivation to get up as early as I currently do.

I am back for now. Aiming to be physically healthy capable of withstanding the amount of work I want to do with running so that in turn, I can use running as a catalyst for critical thinking. It seems like my best ideas about change in the world have come to me while I stomped and gasped for air in this heat. My most intense feelings to study social movements have come when I step into the lighthouse. I am not meant to exist in a still posture. I am meant to exist running in exhaustion, grinning my crooked tooth while I think.

Tomorrow I plan on running 4 miles.

Peace, peace, peace.

In A Mellow Tone

Me and my sister Rebecca exploring the aquarium. 

Summer seems to be the point of stance in which I serve under these grey skies.

It's a bit frustrating that I am sitting here in my kitchen table, actually, everyday sitting in different spots, thinking about how much it sucks that I am not running!

About a month ago I ran the Memorial Day 5k with a fierce motivation to hit it like a comet. As much as fierceness was with my that day, my body seemed to be lagging. Specifically, my misaligned hips. I knew it, to be honest. I knew that I shouldn't have ran that race, yet I did. The passion was finally there again, and there was no way I wasn't going to put it to use.

I say it sucks, but at the same time I am finding acceptance in what as happened. This ankle injury/sprain/fuck up is probably another reminder of things other than just running that I need to be working. To be exact, I really need to get a stronger body. I am doing just that thanks to the help of Abby, who gave my a pretty great circuit to run through on this time off.

Until next time-- peace forever and ever and ever and ever.

Is There A Spirit That Spits

With the S-Class Mage himself

Running is some funky stuff. 

Becoming a runner is stretching out a discipline that isn't there all of the time. These times just couldn't come down this first half of the year, but I'm determined. 21 minute 5ks haunts and spits at me! I'll be going on a 2 week hike down to my muted lab, and after that I'll strike again.

The aim of this muted hike is to learn how to think again while running. After being away from the roads, it seems I have become cultivated in fear. Yes, fear of becoming injured again. It won't leave me. When I run, it's always there, reminding me that I shouldn't go all the way. Of course, the aim is to always to train as smart as possible, but is it okay to have a monstrous attitude post-injury? I'm stuck.

Idk, this 2 week muted hike should help me pick off these fragments that dominate me. I won't let fear spread beyond what it already has.

All Veins in Highway Laps

Control. Gaining control during a race was always very difficult for me in 2013/2014, and it might still be. Yesterday at the Dash Down Greenville 5k was a good reminder of it.

I found it very difficult to push the pace even when I had a lot of fuel left in me. It is like I couldn't really think during the race, and it was all automatic. Very linear racing. Competitiveness, motivation, and determintation were sort of forgotten during the race. I'm assuming that it might be because I'm not that used to racing anymore. I finished in 21:10 which isn't as bad I thought, but I was certain I would break at least 21 min. Nonetheless, I am very proud for where I am currently at. 

I bit of what happened these past weeks:

Monday 03/05/2018

AM 3 miles, PM 2 miles

Tuesday

15 min. + 12 min tempo run.

Wednesday

5 miles.

Thursday

15 min. + 6 x 200m. 

Friday

4 miles

Saturday

9 miles in 1:14:xx

During the week of 03/11-03/17(Dash Down Greenville 5k was on the 17th) I ran all my runs very easy and only for 30 min. except for Wednesday, when I ran  a 15 min. warm-up and then 5 x 200m in 47 seconds with recovery at my own pleasure. Nothing impressive as I am just trying to wake up from this long running sleep. 

I'm hoping to stretch out the mileage these next few weeks as well as the pace. 

And The Camera Makes You Seasick

Sunday
9 miles in 1:13:10.
*Felt so motivated today. Mental imagery was positive as well., and to top it off, weather was actually great today after almost 5 days of rain. It can't rain all the time. So sore though. 

Monday: 
5 miles

Tuesday

Wednesday
Double: AM - 3 miles, PM - 3 miles.
*Wow, my legs felt like they were on clouds on the PM run! Beautiful. 

Thursday
15 min. warm-up + Uphill short sprints (Mile worth) + cool down.
*Went out to Norbuck, but couldn't complete the workout due to mud. Interesting encounter after my run though: As I was heading back to the parking lot towards my car, I saw another car parking right next to me. What the heck? I thought. The parking was enormous and vacant... why next to me?! Out come two dudes, and one of them stands in between their car and mine, and stands there. At this point, I'm still on park grounds, but I pretend, out of painful awkwardness, to jog around to see what he's doing. Turns out they were taking turns taking a wizz in open grounds, where literally, there was a porta-potty a few meters away. What the fuck? I choose to jog a bit more, and wait for them to leave so I can avoid awkward contact. I'm jogging around the baseball field, occasionally looking through my peripheral vision to see if they leave, but out come two more guys. They start sitting on the trunk of their car, and start smoking a few blunts, and take out a few beers. Dang it! How uncomfortable! I jog for a few more minutes, and finally decide to walk to my car because it's getting late. As I'm walking, I see that they have their car door wide open, blocking my door. Fuck! I think to myself. I have my headphones, and look up to the guy, and hear, under my music, Wassup foo? I forget how to talk, "Oh, uh" and point at his door. What? Close that h*e, dawg, the stoned out dude says. Cool, I mumbled. I close it and drive off.

Friday
3 mile easy jog. (8:50 pace)


Saturday
Rest with Deftones

I ran 26 miles this week! The most I have ran in years!

February 19th Hushed The Wind, The Backyard Died

Boogie's last day with us. 2001-2018

Training over the last few weeks has been decent. Not as great, but it's better than nothing.

Look at that... 

Training has been "decent". What do I mean by this and why is it decent? Why not great? Why did I automatically think it was just decent? To begin, it's simple that I am observing two "selfs". I am comparing my actual current self with my ideal self, perhaps even my past self (when I was hardcore).

A big aim in my training this year is to be more self-compassionate. However, I must be able to differentiate and be aware of the different levels of my "being" in training. (Stuff I'm thinking: being lazy, being disciplined, being motivated, when I am setting high standards, when I am setting too high standards, etc). Never realized this until a few years after I stopped training, but I became really obsessed with creating the perfect training plan. I AIMED to make my times decrease linearly; to have a perfect negative slope. My training was centered on one equation that I found to work every time I punched in my goal times, but failed to account for "contamination" from external environmental things. Man, did I get distressed about the smallest things (not full-blown distress, but just like a deep worry) BUT...

...luckily, I have figured out how to manage this maladaptive perfectionism, and just be more lax about it.

Training:

Going for about 18-20 miles this week. Really off on my schedule, but I do hope to reach it within the next few days as this weather has been bleh, bleh. Also, aiming for the loop at white rock this weekend with a few surges, so that should take care of about half the mileage.

(Week Feb 18-24)
Sunday
*No run. Was in Portland, Oregon. COLD! RAIN! SNOW! 

Monday
1 mile. 
*Came back from my trip from Portland, and had to put my 17-year-old dog, Boogie, to sleep. Very, very painful to me. This is my first time getting a punch to my chest by death. I love you Boogie forever and ever and ever and ever. 

Tuesday
Biceps and Back
*10 reps x 4 sets each.

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday
4 miles @ 8:00 pace + yoga afterwards.

Saturday
9 miles w/ surges around miles 6-8

Accident Prone

And the bib hoarding begins

It's been about 4 years since my last post.

After so many injuries, and instabilities, I am here today sore as heck after officially registering for a race after 3 years.

The goal was simple: Just finish.

I did it!

Finished in 21:48. SO satisfied, but I'm in diapers again. Diapers and learning my running tongue again. No "serious" workouts have happened this year. I'm hoping to shave off 2 minutes by April/May, and it feels possible.

Training for week 6 of 2018 (2/5-2/11):

Monday
4 miles @  8:15/mi
5 x 100m strides
*Accidentally ran more than what I should have. Around 43 minutes. Can't wait till there's more sun available in the day. 

Tuesday 
4 progressive miles.
Chest 4 x 10 reps. Biceps 4 x 10 reps

Wednesday
5 miles in 41:30 on grass
5 x 100m strides

Thursday
1 mile easy + 3 mile fartlek (1 min on/1 min off) + 1 mile easy.
Good run around the lake. Didn't feel too bad!

Friday
4 miles

Saturday
1 hr @ 8:34/mi

Sunday
30 min. easy or Yoga.