Good morning from East Dallas.
It's currently 9:57AM and the temporary threshold shift from yesterday's concert has me typing in silence to start off the day.
I'm hoping the energy from this concerts lasts me until tomorrow's race because these England blokes knew how to orchestrate the crowd's feelings.
Let me explain.
The set started off with two tracks: IDEA 01 & Colossus.
Putting these two tracks together was like creating a thunderstorm. The eerie bass drum and piano sprinkles in IDEA 01 reminded me of taking small sips of C4 under a cloud build-up. Almost meditative and preparatory. The transition into Colossus was like the growing itch in your face from beta-alanine and feeling the droplets touch your skin. The rim shots, grimy whole note bass, assertive vocals against toxic masculinity, desperate guitar riffs, and eventually the full use of the drum set. It was a roaring downpour.
Experiencing this made realize something:
Outward aggressiveness has never come naturally to me. My approach to a goal or problem, especially with running, has usually been done with the spirit of Carl Rogers in my chest. I am aggressive in my preparation, but sometimes I feel like I am missing that explosiveness in my performance. In fact, 10 years ago, when I started this blog and competed frequently, I remember coming across this exact problem, so I would have to journal the night before races, writing phrases that would put me in a headspace ready to "die an honorable death." Sometimes it would work; sometimes it wouldn’t. Hell, even some of the posts before my marathon were written in a Mishima-esque style.
After hearing IDLES perform live, it brought back feelings of always wanting to run the way they sounded.
Lately, I've been approaching life with a strong sense of self. While I'm aware that the self is constantly changing, I'm confident that I can use what I have now to engineer my experiences into a unique form of self that is true to me.
Anyway, perhaps that's the level of force I want to take from yesterday. G2G to the restroom from all the water I've been taking for tomorrow!
生々流転,
千の色
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